You have no idea
by ican'tflylikethewind
Summary: A month after the egging debacle. Jesse seriously regrets his actions. But will Rachel understand? Will she get the chance? St. Berry , Puck/Rachel friendship, Quinn/Rachel friendship and Puck/Quinn.Rated T just in case , quite a lot of swearing
1. I and Love and You

**My first Glee fanfic, so please bare with me **

**I do not own ANYTHING except for the story line... where is **_**that**_** box of Kleenex?**

**Setting: At a New Direction's party at Matt's house. A month after the "Another one bites the dust" debacle.**

His heart was pounding. Actually pounding. There she was, in all her beauty; she had to look stunning, didn't she, that _really_ does help. He knew that if he didn't get it all over and done with in the next 5 minutes he would chicken out.  
"Deep breath St. James. Deep breath. "He murmured to himself whilst he headed straight for the stunning brunette in her "little black dress" and looking ...well... stunning. He grabbed her arm.

"J... Jesse" stammered the stunned girl "What are you doing here; actually no, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Rach, I just need to tell you something before I leave, and you _have _to listen to me. I know, after what I did, you shouldn't even be letting me breath the same air as you, let alone listen to what I have to say; but please I am begging you, do not interrupt me."  
She stared at him, wide-eyed. She was just about to complain but his eyes pleaded her, so she hesitantly nodded.

"I know what I did to you was disgusting and hell is filled with people like me, but you need to know and understand how bad I feel; not just bad I genuinely feel as if I have murdered someone, and by doing what I did I have realised I have murdered what we have, the passion, the love we had for each other which, to me, is worse than killing an actual person. I really want you to understand how utterly effed up I know I am for mucking all this up; and the stupid thing is I only realised how important you are and how much you mean to me that second after I cracked that egg. Only then did I realise that I really did mean it, the night I told you that I love you and I should have not broke your heart just for another regional's title."

She winced at the memory; but the reason didn't seem outrageous when she thought about it. She would have done the same, not as cruelly, but in essence she would have done the same and that fact made it all worse.

"I was so, so, _so _stupid for doing that. I do not expect you to forgive me and I truly do understand how annoyed you are with me and I definitely did deserve all the verbal abuse, the blanking treatment and being beaten up by Finn and Puck, in fact you should have spat on me afterwards. But I want you to know... I love you, Rachel Berry, with all my heart and soul. Remember that as I beg for your forgiveness, which I don't deserve; yet long for. Look I am leaving for LA tonight. My flight's in an hour and a half. I had a chance with you. I blew it. I have been kicking myself everyday since the incident for doing so. But now I am leaving. I love you Rachel Berry. Never doubt it. "

And with a last wistful stare into her eyes, that broke her heart, he was gone. Everyone was whispering behind her, Finn came rushing to her side, Quinn hugged her sympathetically but she didn't take any of it in. Everything in the background was a blur. She just stood there, gripping her soda cup.

No. He did not have the right to do this to her. He does not get to make _her_ feel the tiniest but guilty. No, he can't do that. Not after all the crap he's already put her through; and he definitely does not get off so easily. She won't forgive him. She won't fell anything for him. She won't love him back.

Then why was she rushing out the doors to the airport?

**Please (with all the cherries in the world on top) review and tell me what you think. Thank you, you awesome people **


	2. Guilt

**The second chapter. Not my best work sorry, but I am working on the third chapter so hopefully that will be better. Thank you FromtheBrain for your review **

**I still don't own anything but the storyline. Heartbreaking.**

"Rach, What are you doing? Rach, come back!" She could hear Finn's voice, yet didn't stop.

"Your not actually going after _him_ are you?" She could hear Kurt's voice, yet didn't stop.

"Rach quit running like a maniac!" She could hear Puck's voice. She stopped. She turned around.

"Puck, do you honestly think I am going to do what you say? You are hardly the best at relationships and I am not going to take your advice. A guy who I actually love has just told me the three most important words and you think I am just going to let him slip through my fingers? He may have been a bastard in the past; but I know he is sorry. I could see it in his eyes. I could see the guilt. I could see the regret. So I am going after him whether you like it or not." By this point Rachel was screaming and was staring at the bewildered Puck standing in front of her.

"Err... I was just going to ask if you needed a lift." He offered in a small voice, but then a sly grin began to grow on his lips. "But if your not going to take my advice or help then I guess your gonna have to walk to the airport."

The fury in Rachel's eyes disappeared almost instantly. She knew Puck was messing with her, yet she was ready to beg him for a ride. She had to get to that airport. She just had to.

"Come on Puck. I'm sorry. Just please take me. Pleeaas-"She got cut off.

"You love him?"

She slowly turned around and saw Finn. She could see the hurt and heartbreak in his eyes.

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"But what about me? What am I meant to do? Was I your rebound relationship? Was I? Answer me Rach!" Finn's voice began to get louder and anger was building up in his body.

There was a silence. She didn't know what to say. She could hear the crowd, which had gathered around her, whispering and gossiping amongst each other. Puck stepped forward and rubbed her arm encouragingly. Quinn came round to her other side and held her hand.

"You never were the one, Finn." Rachel croaked. "After so many years of waiting for you. I finally had you but you proved to me that you weren't that great. When Jesse came along, I knew he was the one. But then he broke my heart, like you did; yet it hurt so much more. You came to me again. I wanted us to work but it just didn't. Yeah I guess you acted like a rebound. But don't even try to make me feel bad, you had me once and you blew that chance. You made me feel like utter crap when we were going out; it is obvious we are not meant to be together. So if you don't mind I am going to go and save the relationship that I have with a guy who I love, and guess what? He loves me back."

There were gasps in the background. Finn was stunned. He didn't know what to say. He just stood there and watched as Puck and Quinn guided Rachel to the truck. His eyes were on Rachel who was gazing right back at him. When they got to the truck Puck looked at Quinn quizzically.

"What, your coming too?"

"Puckerman, are you actually being serious? She's my best mate of course I am coming. Stop being a fool, get into the truck and DRIVE!"

Puck sighed. It was hard enough having Rachel boss him around but Quinn too? Life sure was going to get harder. He made sure Rachel had her seatbelt on, then he turned the ignition on and drove off.

Rachel was in a daze. She was still looking at Finn, who was standing motionless in the driveway. No matter what she said; she felt guilty. But what she had said was true. She loved Jesse. Not Finn.

**You have read it, so now please review. Pretty, pretty please.**


	3. Blue Laughter

**You may want to hurt me for the delay. I'm sorry. But I got a new computer and all my documents died. Including the 3****rd**** chapter, so please accept this not-so-good, light-hearted one as a token of my stupidity and sorry….-ness. :D You are all very awesome **

**Thank you all soo much for the reviews:**

**Sea Serpent, fearinourminds, kbraven52, RubberSoulRevolver, and ****MissElliexXxXx****.**

**I do not own anything except for the story line. *her heart breaks***

Jesse's POV

Have I won her back or just put her off? Did the stink of desperation disgust her? Oh God. Who'd have known. I fell for Rachel Berry. The craziest girl on this planet. The girl who I'm crazy for.

Rachel's POV

"For God's sake Puck! Slow down! PUUUUCCKK! SLOW DOWN!"

You have got to give it her. Quinn Fabray sure does have a set of lungs on her. I love that girl. There was only one person who I loved more. Since hat egg cracked, I have been trying to convince myself, delude myself that that person was Finn. Oh how stupid I was.

"Do you want Rach to lose that Jesse douche? I ain't gonna drive like a frickin' grandpa. I got a badass rep to retain." I swear I could hear giddiness in Puck's voice. What was wrong with him?

"Oh shut up Puck. Yeah I want to get to the airport, but it would help if we got there alive. As in we wouldn't crash and you know….. DIE. " Again, God. I love that girl.

"Zip it Quinn. Or the only your gonna to hear about Rach's romantic moment, is over the phone tomorrow."

That shut her up.

But what was going on? Puck was using words like "romantic" and "moment" and he was literally giddy. What. The. Frick.

"Puck…" Why did my voice sound so hoarse? This is not good for my vocal chords.

"Yeah, babe?"

Urgh. Even though I let him call me words like that since we became quite close friends, that doesn't mean they have stopped giving me the creeps; always reminding me of Puck's "player" way of life.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah. What is wrong? You're practically high and you didn't get any action at the party" Quinn asked, with her all-so-famous innocent girl voice. I couldn't help but laugh at the last part, even though my heart was breaking for a certain curly-haired cutie .

"Don't make me warn ya again Fabray. It's…. just…."

"What?" Quinn and I chimed. We were always on the same wavelength. Ever since Kindergarten and both us had beat up a boy for saying girls had cooties. We have been best friends ever since.

"Have you gone all cute and sentimental on us Noah?"

"Fuck off Berry."

"OMG, you have haven't you. Rachel, Puck has actually grown a heart."

"Fuck off Fabray."

"Then what is it?"

Suddenly he went all sheepish. I swear I could see him blush.

"Last night... with the lil' sis...I watched Titanic."

There was an awkward pause. And then Quinn and I burst out laughing. We were cracking up so hard that we didn't hear the siren of the ambulance flying past.

"Hey. It's not that funny."

"Oh trust me. It is" Quinn gasped, with tears of laughter running down her face. I had to agree with her.

"Hey you guys stop it"

"No. Way too funny. Sides ache. Sides ache a lot"

"Honestly. Look out the window."

I did what he said, still giggling like crazy. But once I registered what I saw, my smile was wiped off my face. There he was, lying motionless on the gurney, with the blur of the blue flashing light reflecting on his face. Blood trickling down his cheek.

There Jesse was.

**Now you have read it, I beg you to review. Thank you 3**


	4. Motionless

**Heyy **** Before we start I would just like to say thank youuuuu so much to: colorthehours11, Chronav, Lyliam, nunez123 and northstar61 **** your reviews mean soooo much to me. Thank you 3**

**I only own the storyline, not glee. I died when I found out. :'(**

Rachel's POV

What was I meant to do? I knew I was meant to be doing something, at least. Maybe crying, screaming or fretting over his health.

But no.

I just sat there. Motionless. Just like him.

Quinn's POV

I couldn't believe it. The day Rach realises who she really loves, is the day that she could lose him. Un-fucking-believable. For about a second I had no idea what to do. I just sat there thinking about how destiny and fate always seemed to turn out to be a load of bullshit. I am not even kidding. My love life hasn't exactly been all smiles and laughter. Being dumped by the only guy who I instantly fell for. Sam.

But soon I snapped out of my trance. I was always the quickest one to recover, in any sort of situation.

Without another seconds thought I pushed Puck out of the car ordering him to find out which hospital Jesse was being sent to. We had to get there ASAP.

For Rachel's sake.

Puck's POV

I was storming past cars, towards the hospital. Now, neither Fabray nor Berry were questioning my speed. Poor kid. She may be a drama queen but Rach's doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this.

Looking in the mirror, I could see the vacant look on her face. Why wasn't she crying, or shouting at us? That was the questioning that was hanging thickly in the air of the beat-up truck. It was on all our minds. That silence, that stupor.

We could lose Rachel to it.

But with one shared look between Quinn and me, you could tell we had both made our decision.

We were not going to let that happen.

Rachel's POV

"Ohh for crying out loud! So what she's not family, what do you think she's going to do? Kill him? Steal him? Hold him up for hostage? This girl is heartbroken and it has been a dramatic night, so either let her go in or I'll scream and shout rape." I have always been able to count on the fiery blond standing in front of me. Thank God she hasn't let me down.

Normally I would have been laughing at the bewildered and frightened look on the male nurse's face as he buzzed me into the private hospital room, or asking Puck about why he can't keep his eyes off Quinn. But now?

I can't even cry for my dying boyfriend.

Did I just say boyfriend?

Oh God.

Why does my mind always have to go into speed-mode everything romance is on the cards? All these questions are doing my head in. I close my eyes for a second in a feeble attempt to make them all flutter away. I take a deep breath and grab hold of the silver door handle, slowly turning it. I walk in.

"Finn?"

**Thank you for reading. I would really appreciate it if you could take some time to review. Thank you sooo much. 3**


End file.
